Confessions of a Stylist: The Journey to Destiny Unknown
It’s impossible to map out a route to your destination if you don’t know where you’re starting from. – Suze Orman
The Journey to Destiny Unknown or should I say The Journey to Destination Unknown?
I believe that in our lives we are on a journey to a destination unknown. Even though we have goals and dreams that we work towards within our lives; ultimately we don’t know where we are going to end up. The universe is in charge of this journey and is guiding us along the way.
This is what makes it so exciting! We can really envision what we want and what we want to achieve from our lives. The universe will provide for us.
Spirituality has allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of myself
The journey that I have been on has involved a lot of self-development, especially in the past few years. I needed to unlock the pieces within me that was holding me back from living within my destiny. Don’t get me wrong I am not there yet like I said it is a journey… a journey to my destiny or even a destination which is currently unknown.
I say destination unknown because I know that I won’t be at the end of my journey for hopefully at least another 70 years but until then I have made a promise to myself that I will continue this journey of self-discovery because I know that every day I am unlocking more doors that make me… well me!
Reading books has been one of the things that has helped me to do this. One of the book’s that has helped me in particular to do this is Gabriella Bernstein’s The Universe Has Got Your Back although all Gabby’s books are amazing and very helpful.
One of the things that stood out for me from this book was when Gabby was in the airport due to her flight being delayed. She was getting angrier because she wanted to get home and the woman behind the help desk was taking a tone of voice that Gabby didn’t appreciate. At that moment, Gabby realised that the woman was, in fact, mirroring her and the tone of voice that she was taking.
This was when I had my big ahh ha moment because we all mirror the things that we give out to the universe. When you are negative you attract negative things. I am sure that you are aware of the law of attraction and that like attracts like. I realised that I had been really negative to the situation that I was in and I was going to change this.
By doing this self-discovery work and unlocking the pieces within me has allowed me to understand the things that were holding me back from being who I am and living the life I wanted, the life I was destined for.
What I do know for sure is that I have a message and a gift to help empower women to be and embrace their true stylish selves. To help them let their inner glow radiate for the world to see.
Headlines about the latest celebrity that had lost ‘x’ amount of weight on the latest fad diet just seemed really wrong to me.
The first time I became aware of this message was when I went to university. Growing up I had always been aware of the struggles that my mum and auntie used to have when it came to finding clothes. It wasn’t until I went to university in London that I really started to experience it. I went to the London College of Fashion where I studied Product Design and Development for the Fashion Industry.
As with many people who go to university, it was my first time moving away from home. I found myself in an industry that dictated what was socially acceptable. Obviously, we all know what the fashion industry is like. Suddenly I felt under pressure to be a certain size. I found myself going to the shops to buy magazines to be greeted by headlines about the latest celebrity that had lost ‘x’ amount of weight on the latest fad diet. This to me just seemed really wrong.
I had spent my life watching the industry tell women that they should be a certain size. The one that I wanted to work in and I was determined to change this. Plus size women were not being catered for. They were being told that they can’t be as stylish and trendy like their thinner counterparts. That they had to wear what I can only describe as a sack. They were basically being discriminated against because the society that we live in didn’t deem this acceptable.
On the flip side, you had magazines telling women that they had to be a certain size but then shaming them too if they were too thin.
At the same time that this was going on, there was one brand trying to change that and that brand was of course Dove. They came up with a beauty campaign that featured what they deemed to be ‘Real Women’ and at that time this was a massive breakthrough for women around the world.
In my final year at university, I specialised in clothing that doesn’t discriminate against women. Basically, I created a collection that was based around body shape. I made it really easy for all women of different sizes to identify if the clothing was right for them.
So I guess you could say that I have been championing Body Positivity for a very long time.
I myself believe as long as you are happy and confident with who you are, then that is the most important thing in the world!
Fast forward to 2019 and eating disorders are believed to affect 1.2 million people in the UK alone, in the US it is 30 million. These two together equate to nearly half of the 70 million worldwide (source: https://www.mirror-mirror.org/eating-disorders-statistics.htm).
These statistics are scary to me! What scares me more is that we are bringing our children up to be programmed this way too. That our sole existence on this earth is to be a number… a number on a label, a number on a scale, a number on payroll, a number in a bank account and number in the world of possibilities yet we settle.
This is why I know that part of the reason why I am here on this beautiful earth is to make it my mission to help women embrace themselves and all the awesome things that make them the beautiful powerful women that they are.
By doing this they will then glow from the inside out and be a positive influence to their children showing them that we are more than a number and we are worth so much more than what society portrays us to be.
But the key to this is to get a better understanding of yourself and start embracing every part of you. Allowing you to become free and liberated in ways that I can’t even fully begin to explain.
Liberation… The word itself is a powerful one
When you find liberation it is such an amazing thing and often we find that the things that are limiting us as women are actually the obstacles of our own doing.
Liberating yourself of these things will allow you to get a deeper understanding of who you are. Once you have done this you can then start building upon these strong foundations and radiate that inner shine.
This is now my life mission to help women gain an understanding and connection within themselves so that together we can build upon the new foundations that we have laid.
For me, it is about being able to fully understand what you are about so that you start living a life that involves you being your true self. Knowing what dreams and visions that you want to achieve and then living them with confidence and happiness.
As human beings, these are our true desires to live a confident and joyful life. Like I said at the beginning of this article. I now have a full understanding of this through embarking on and embracing my own journey. In the past 18 months especially, I have been investing time and money within myself. This has allowed me to grow as a human being. It is my desire to be the best version of myself and live my life in a positive and inspiring way.
I felt lost and under pressure from myself to get a job once I had graduated from university and while I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do; I did know one thing and that was that I wanted to work within the fashion industry.
So I became a fashion buyer and I worked for British high street retailers and department stores. Developing and sourcing products from all across the world for them to sell in their many stores worldwide. I learnt and gained a massive understanding of how the fashion industry works but something was still missing from my life.
After 4 years of being a buyer, I was living with an amazing woman who has become my best friend. She is a make-up artist and hairstylist who has had an amazing career of working within film & television, music and fashion and commercial editorials. We were chatting one day and she started to tell me about a photoshoot what she was working on that coming weekend.
As she was telling me about it I was getting excited. Fashion styling was something that I had never thought about before. I ended up assisting the stylist on that shoot. From there I started fashion styling and I found that I was really good at it. Working with some amazing and talented people. Our work began to get featured in magazines and on album covers. I had a taste of living in my zone of genius and it lightened my soul up!
After a few years of working on my styling career while holding down a full-time job. I was suddenly faced with one of my biggest challenges to date and it would be one that would break me.
Working on a very ambitious photoshoot (15 models shooting over 3 weekends). I became the victim of a cut-throat fashion industry. This involved nastiness and backstabbing, something that my friends and I were not like.
I was bullied and made to feel like I was a fraud. That I didn’t know what I was doing. That is the moment that I gave up on my dream…
I went back to my full-time job and tried to make it work. It didn’t because I still felt unfulfilled, something was missing from my life. I kept pushing this feeling deep down inside me. Mainly because I didn’t see the worth that I had to offer the world. I lacked the confidence and self-belief in myself. Something that I used to have when I was going up. All because of what I experience on that photoshoot.
Then about 3 years ago I had what I like to refer to as my mini-midlife crisis. I questioned where I was in my life. I realised that everything that I was about when I was in my 20s I had lost…
I didn’t want to work for a big corporate company…
I now worked for one…
Sustainability was important to me. At university, I created collections around the concept of “what if we couldn’t buy clothes anymore and could only recycle”…
I now found that I was working for a part of the industry that was encouraging fast disposable fashion…
I was passionate about body positivity. In my final year, I created a collection that didn’t discriminate against women because of their shape or size…
I now found that I had lost my voice. I wasn’t speaking out about something I was truly passionate about…
I wasn’t doing the styling which lightened my soul up inside…
Through all this self-reflection. I realised in this moment that I needed to make a change…
TUNE IN: APPLE PODCASTS
03:11 – The Journey To Destination Unknown – Why I named this episode this.
04:40 – The universe has your back.
06:09 – My aaah moment
08:12 – Leaving home and experiencing it
13:22 – My mission
16:31 – Finding my passion for fashion styling
21:09 – My biggest challenge
23:04 – The big realisation
I know I wanted to make a difference in women’s lives and empower them to be their true stylish selves. So I set up my personal stylist and women’s empowerment coaching business. I rebranded my website Girl Behind The Look which was originally my fashion styling portfolio.
I became a Body Image Movement Global Ambassador and promote body positivity to the world while empowering women. I created Body Positivity & Confidence Week which celebrated how amazing our bodies are.
I now work with female entrepreneurs to help them unlock their personal style. This helps them to have a bigger impact on their audience and potential clients. The power of your personal style is an important one. It allows you to be the face of your brand and project a strong message. A message that you are the right expert to get them the results that they desire.
I am now at the part of my journey where I am starting a podcast called The Stylish CEO. This is something which I am really excited about! This podcast is for female entrepreneurs. Each week I will be bringing you all things style, business, personal development, branding, inspirational and empowering stories and guest experts. This will help YOU become the STYLISH CEO and STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD to your potential audience.
A question I will be asking all my guests on this podcast will be this one…
“I believe that we are on a journey in life. In real life when we are going on a journey we get into our car and put on a playlist. This allows us to stay motivated along the way and get us to our destination.
I want to know what your theme song would be for your life journey. This can be a song that has got you to this stage of your life. Or it can be a song that is taking you on the journey that you are now embarking on. What would that song be for you and why you have chosen this?”
It only seemed right that I kick start this playlist so the song that I have chosen is Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys.
I have chosen this song because it has been a song that I have played in my head ever since Alicia brought it out. This song gets me through each situation, each obstacle and celebrating each win and accomplishment. Right now at this moment I truly do feel that I am on fire.
You can listen to the soundtrack to this podcast over on Spotify. Each week I will be adding the guest’s song. This is a powerful playlist of songs that are they to empower you and become the soundtrack to your journey. These are songs to help encourage you to step into being the face of and CEO of your brand while implementing all that you learn from this podcast.
The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith by Gabrielle Bernstein
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